Super Double Dragon

Here I am fainting on top of a phone booth. Luckily the friendly man caught me with his fist.
Here I am fainting on top of a phone booth. Luckily the friendly man caught me with his fist.

There’s construction happening right near my house as I type this. The construction has been going on for over a month now. If I’m at home during the day, I hear this:

THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK  THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK

It goes on for hours and hours. I can feel it in my teeth. My bones are disintegrating. Mind my is melting, the incessant vibrations reducing it to even more of a slurry than it was previously.

I mention this only because I’m totally unable to focus on anything aside from this noise. I have become this noise. I am now called THUNK. THUNK will try to review Super Double Dragon, but don’t expect much out of THUNK.

Game look pretty nice. THUNK can appreciate colourful character designs and nice sprite animations. Little men punch and kick and jump and THUNK smile warmly, the thought of a quiet world where the only noise is screaming playing momentarily in what’s left of THUNK’s imagination.

But no, noise returns. Reverberate inside of THUNK.

Game has sound? Most of life sound like THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK so maybe some of it is lost.

As far as gameplay, THUNK think that game seem slow. Little man can only walk despite presumably time-sensitive life or death situation. RUN MAN! RUN LITTLE MAN! Why little man move like he under water? THUNK move faster when looking for ice cream truck, never mind when he in deadly street fight started by pushing gang members out of way to get ice cream from truck.

Also THUNK play game single player so there only one dragon. Should call game “Super Player-Dependent Number of Dragons.”

Alright, the noise has stopped so I’m capable of using first person nouns again. Me am very happy about this development.