Aerobiz Supersonic

Being a 2D dude in a 3D airline is rough
Being a 2D dude in a 3D airline is rough

Perhaps the CEO of SEXPLAN wasn’t aware of the seven character limit on his company’s name, or perhaps he didn’t care that “SEXPLANE” was only a marginally better name than SEXPLAN, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he would bend the world of global air travel to his every whim! He would attempt to bend this global air travel world to his every whim in thirty minutes or give up and do something else.

Based out of Hong Kong, SEXPLAN’s business strategy consisted of listening to music designed to lull colic babies to sleep and talking with heads in boxes as they looked sternly at him while they levitated in a boardroom. He occasionally listened to their advice, but spent most of his time doodling boobs on a notepad he kept on his desk. He later arranged the doodles by ascending nipple size.

Back to the airline business at hand:

Would randomly selecting planes, number of flights, and marking all costs 5% over regular prices pay off? No, not really.

What about sending off bored looking business people to negotiate for “slots” in countries without having a clue as to their nature? (Strange how a single vowel can totally change one’s interest in a word.) The answer is another “no.”

Aerobiz Supersonic looks like the kind of game that I could find entertaining if I gave it a lot of time, something I never accomplish due to my poor attention span. When a game can’t engage me RIGHT AWAY, I’m tempted to drop it on the floor and look around for something to eat. I am a “casual gamer,” with emphasis on the “casual” part since I’m always wearing slippers and a robe.

On second thought, I don’t think the idea of simulating a business could ever really do it for me, entertainment-wise. Maybe if I could outfit my planes with sexy flight attendants and weapons and challenge other airlines to duels, there would be some potential here. I’d love to be able to dogfight in a 747 while drinking a martini and getting blown by a flight attendant who wanted to see the world but instead must settle for seeing the inside of my SEXPLAN-issue trousers. Are you listening, Nintendo?

I don’t play a lot of sim games. I used to play Civilization before I grew tired of betraying the Egyptians, and I spent a number of hours with SimAnt, infesting kitchens in a game instead of in real life as I normally do. Both those games had something that I’d consider exciting: barbarians and sudden lawnmower deaths. I’m probably not giving Aerobiz Supersonic a fair chance by expecting those things, but I have to listen to my heart. I keep a stethescope by my bed for this reason and also other reasons.

I guess that if I loved 16-bit simulations of airplane boardroom meetings and arranging flight schedules, this would be a totally awesome game.