Who hasn’t wanted to pilot a spaceship? I might have asked this question before, but I’m still waiting for the imagination-free twat I know is waiting out there with some fun-busting negative answer. Until he or she (let’s face it: he) responds to me, I will blithely assume NO ONE. There’s NO ONE who wouldn’t want to pilot an intergalactic vessel with warp speed and phaser guns and sexy alien ladies and sweating. WarpSpeed is a game that has some of those things, sort of.
As you can see from the action-packed screenshot, this game is a little light on the graphics. You can see into the void and aim at the nothing through your reticule, blasting away merrily at whatever should venture into your sights. I found it difficult to aim at anything, let alone hit it, but keep in mind I’m a spastic manchild who blathers about SNES games until my eyes hurt and I yearn for the sweet pillowy embrace of Lady Death.
Navigation across the vastness of space is done by consulting a Battleship-esque (yes, I just wrote that) map that shows you the position of your enemies. Driving around trying to find them is so much fun I wrote a sarcastic sentence about it.
There are several different missions or modes or SOMETHING but I’m not really sure since every one I played involved me drifting around in space, occasionally shooting and missing enemy ships who would challenge me to a combat that I thought we were already having.
Sure, WarpSpeed lets you pilot a spaceship, but you don’t feel like a competent pilot in a good spaceship. You feel like a loser. A space loser.