T2: The Arcade Game

Any side-scrolling rail shooter where you don’t have the luxury of a gun to shoot and you just move a cursor around is profoundly stupid and boring. Any side-scrolling rail shooter where the excuse to the complete lack of environment is that “the environment was destroyed by robots” (while actually sort of cool when I say it out loud) is just as stupid and boring.

You’ve played T2 before. Or you saw your friend play it in an arcade maybe.Remember arcades? This game does them a disservice.

Normally when I play these games and I hate them, I try to play them until I die. I played this game until I noticed that holding the trigger down made my gun eventually overheat and shoot slower. How can I hope to defeat an army of meandering (sometimes they just walk by you while you glide around on your… I dunno? Segway?) killing machines if my gun is only useful for 10 seconds?

I hate this game so much. I hate it so much I can’t even bother to write about it wittily or creatively. That’s true hatred.

Let’s not question it.

I want to take a second to point out that if this is the first thing you see when you turn on a game, that's not a good sign.

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