Super Tennis


You know what’s neat about Tennis Games? I’ve never met a single person who can competently play tennis who likes them. But I’ve never met anyone who likes games who says “I fucking can’t stand tennis games.” No one does that. It’s just tennis. It’s benign. It’s this friendly little sport that, when it’s on your television anyway (well, not like if you’re watching… you know what I mean), is basically just ping-pong. It’s rarely awful, even when it’s really really shallow in the game-play department.

Tennis is hard to fuck up.

A = Smash, B = Lob.

While my roommate was playing the super-realistic NHL 11, I was playing this tennis game from 1991. When I just missed a return I’d go “fuck! I almost had it!”. I was easily as animated over a 1991 mediocre tennis game as he was playing a hockey game neither of us seem to be able to put down.

That’s fucked.

Step 1: Make Tennis Game, Step 2: ...., Step 3: Profit.

Anyway, I can’t explain it. You probably don’t hate tennis. I defy anyone to hate tennis with the same verve they seem to direct towards hockey or baseball or football games. Tennis games are a safe bet. We don’t care about them. They don’t have to be great to be great. I don’t understand how that happened. All tennis games deserve the exact same rating, but I don’t think it makes sense to rate them on the same scale as other games. They’re a genre of their own. You can say “this is a pretty good tennis game” or “this tennis game is amazing” or “this tennis game sort of blows”, but anyway you slice it, it’s still tennis and you probably won’t really object to playing it. But you also won’t seek it out? I don’t know. I’m sure there are people who get upset when tennis games aren’t amazing. I bet they don’t actually play tennis?

I’m so confused.

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