Super Street Fighter II

Cammy is a bad ass, but is no Sonny Chiba

It seems a shame that pretty much any one of the other writers didn’t get lucky and pull out the Super Street Fighter II card from the big Every Game Ever Deck o’ Game Selection. Don’t get me wrong, I think Super Street Fighter II a great game, but I just don’t love it the way a lot of people do. I never bothered memorizing any combos beyond the most basic Hadouken (assuming there even are any; the fact I don’t know kind of illustrates my point here…), I can’t tell you off the top of my head which characters in the series make an appearance in this game, and I’ve never gone out for Hallowe’en dressed as Chun Li. That costume was a character I made up on my own and she fights in a different fighting tournament, a sexy one.

Some of those other writers could probably tell you about the history of the game; they could make jokes about its contemporaries and explain why it was important in the development of whatever genre of thing. Factual and informative articles aren’t my style though, so you’ll likely be treated to some meandering anecdote about how I played this game as a kid. It’ll be fascinating, I’m sure.

(Note: the real Scott died in a horrible plane crash into an orphanage (like he planned) six reviews ago. Using a very simple algorithym, we’ve determined exactly how he’ll review any game based on an established formula. Letting this process run is substantially easier than finding a living person to write reviews of SNES games. Please enjoy.)

I played this game in the arcade when it cost 25 GODDAMNED CENTS to play ANY game in the arcade. You went in with a dollar, you could play the game FOUR times instead of one or none. It was a magical and slightly cheaper time. I would play as Blanka when fighting the other children, electrocuting them whenever they came near, and as Chun Li when playing by myself, afraid of the derision my thunder thighs would receive. Many a quarter was fed into the maw of the machine, and this has absolutely nothing to do with the SNES version so I’ll stop talking now.

One of my favorite parts of Super Street Fighter II was the bonus game where you could smash some random car. I’m not sure what it had to do with the overall street fighting tournament (a sponsor dispute?), but it was fun. However, as I learned the hard way, pummeling a car into bits will not win you bonus points, and the man who comes running up shrieking “My car!” may actually be angry enough to hit you rather than just falling to his knees all inconsolable.

I have no idea how to finish this review, so instead I’m going to link some youtube videos that show how Guile’s theme goes with everything:

Lion King
FFVII (spoilers, I guess?)
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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