Super Putty

Honestly? Alright.

Guh

Let’s get this over with. Actual simple review (one sentence): Super Putty is challenging platformer with repulsive and often confusing graphics that I’m sure someone loved dearly but is basically horrible. The longer story is that I hate basically everything that this game represents. First of all, the character. There’s only room for one amorphous blob in video games, and that is the blob (and his boy):

I don't want to hear any of this "the original was better" horseshit. It might have been better in terms of "fuck this game it's way too hard" but it was way less better in terms of "ha ha, he just blew up inside that other frog monster thing and that's awesome".

Super Putty takes a cute blue thing and lets it do things that Putty should do (except rub offs of your favorite comics) and then puts it in a platforming fever dream where you can do a million things but all you’ll want to do is jump. You can’t just jump though. You have to stretch (I have no idea how this is better than jumping), go flat (which absorbs things), punch stuff, and presumably some other things I’d know if I had a booklet. It all starts off pretty unassuming.

ALSO, it's worth noting that this game had a tutorial level. That's a pretty big rarity for this generation.

So there’s a little blue guy who can stretch and bounce. Got it. You exit the level by taking robots to their space ship, which you do by absorbing them and spitting them out. It’s not clear why a ball of putty needs to do this. But then this bullshit happens:

BLAM

Basically what the game does then is get so ugly that you want to stop playing it immediately and then [SPOILER ALERT] you do just that.

Also the blob eats hamburgers, but he teaches us about things.

For those of you keeping track at home, that means that Super Putty represents every awful game that tried to invent a lovable character who is mostly unremarkable and then puts him in convoluted and stupid setting that reminds you of better games (Commander Keen, A Boy and His Blob). And it’s also super, super ugly.

Yup.

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