Super Off-Road

HOLY FUCK

IMAGINE IF YOU HAD A TRUCK THAT YOU COULD TAKE OFF OF DIRT JUMPS ALL YOU WANTED WHILE RACING AGAINST OTHER DUDES WHO ALSO HAD TRUCKS THEY COULD DIRT JUMP. IMAGINE IT!!!!

Ok, well that’s pretty much Super Off-Road. It’s trucks on dirt tracks and that neat racing game/tank control thing and sometimes you collect nitros or maybe also you collect bags of money and then you spend that money on a better truc…

Big 'ol trucks.

Waaaaaiiiit a minute. Super Off-Road is basically SNES-era dirt racing Gran Turismo. You start off with a piece of shit. You race until it isn’t a piece of shit. This costs money, which you earn from winning or running over bags of money. Because running over money in your giant truck not only preserves it, but automatically puts it in your bank account… or your guy reaches out of the car or something… I don’t know. All I know is that this game isn’t old-fashioned auto-polo and that makes me sad. Check this shit out…

Now THAT is what I'm talkin' about.

Anyway, there’s trucks. Basically, after reviewing two amazing games that deserve a place in the PANTHEON OF WORLD WARRIORS (Street Fighter IV, amirite?), playing Super Off-Road is pretty disappointing. This guy knows what I’m talking about:

wenh_wonh.wav
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