Sports Illustrated Championship

It’s exciting to get to play a game that was spun off into such a successful long running TV show. Who knew a game based solely on watching sports and then writing up news stories for Sports Illustrated magazine could be so much fun. CBS did! That’s who!

In the game you play Ray Romano…..I mean Ray Barone, a successful sports writer for sports illustrated. The object of the game is to watch a sporting event of your choice. With endless options like football and baseball it is really hard to choose at times. I decided it was best to try both options to keep this a fair and honest review.

Ray is a lucky man. His job is to watch sports all day long AND he gets some of the best seats in the house. In the baseball version you actually get to stand where the first base coach does. Being this close to the action you won’t miss any details for your article. I swear Pierre McGuire must have played this game to get his idea to sit between the benches.  The challenge during the sporting events is to stay awake because all games are played in real time. Watching fake athletes the like of R. Alvomar and D. Bright takes dedication and stamina. If you miss any key plays in your write up after the game then you lose serious points. So you are best to get a beer and a comfy chair and enjoy the show.  A short game can last as little as three hours.

Ray Barone says You're OUT!

Once the game is over you have the fortunate ability to work from home. OR SO YOU THOUGHT! Little did you know but your parents live just across the street! And your Sasquatch of a brother is a cop and drops by all the time. You need to somehow balance your family life such as pleasing your wife sexually and raising twins all the while still making your deadline. Once again action takes place in real time so while you may have a week to complete your article most of your time will be taken up by nagging women and Neanderthal brothers.

Just before every deadline you must complete a series of challenges as mentioned but at the end you must complete the boss battle. Hints to who the boss will be are normally hidden around your house. For example once I noticed birth control pills on the bed side table. A few days after the pills ran out for the month I had to engage my wife is hand to hand combat before darting off to the office to hand in my article.

When you finally do hand in your article for the next issue of Sports illustrated you get a letter grade to tell you how you did. I never did very well because I spent most of my time failing to please my wife which meant I had to constantly play the “masturbate in the shower” mini game.

I highly recommend this game to anyone whose life sucks worse than the one I just described.

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