Spindizzy Worlds

There is a glass on the table. In the glass is a blue liquid. Where I come from, people drink this liquid to improve their speech patterns. As you can tell, I have gorged myself on its juices many a time. If you drink from it, I cannot be held responsible for the consequences. If you do not drink from it, I actually might get a bit upset. But never mind that now. Under the glass is a roll of parchment. The parchment is stained blue; I forgot a coaster. Interestingly, the parchment’s syntax and grammar have only been improved by this mishap. It now reads: “The successful manipulation of a topwise spinning article of physical matter will allow for ultimate transcendental mood-swings.” So, there’s that.

Oh, I forgot. What I really came to tell you about was the worlds of spin. First, let me explain that all worlds spin. Some worlds, however, spin harder than others. These worlds are called spindizzy worlds. Earth spins at about 1,038 miles per hour at the equator, relative to the sun. These spindizzy worlds spin at about eight times that speed. What’s really interesting is that the inhabitance of these worlds experience massive centripetal force and must wear very heavy boots if they want to stay on the ground. Some choose to take another route, however. And that’s where you come in. Turns out Einstein was wrong about special relativity. Turns out if you spin really really fast, light ends up traveling at the speed of sound, at least for you. Essentially this breaks space-time completely, and you enter an alternate universe.

Oh, I forgot. I’m actually talking about a Super Nintendo game. Oh, shit, I’m so high on that blue shit! Do you have any table salt? That brings me right down. Yeah. Table salt.

Uncle Owen! This one's got a bad motivator! Look!

Okay, so, Spindizzy Worlds for the SNES… kinda like that Sonic game. Got that whole 3/4 isometric stuff going on. Also got that thing where up isn’t up: it’s up and to the right. Keep that in mind. Dead frustrating game though. Odd mechanics. Like, one tried to fix my car, but he was so odd that I had to buy a new car. Odd mechanics.

Anyway, if collecting gems is your bag, and if your bag is full of gems, you might like this wonderfully frustrating game. If you’re like me, you might get bored. Then again, if you’re like me, you play these games for the nostalgia factor anyway, so beans!

Finally, I don’t have any answers for you. Ask a mobile phones expert, not me.

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