Scooby-Doo Mystery

Velma proceeds to impose her knowledge of made-up shit.

Hanna-Barbera brings forth an odd clash of emotions in my book. While I thoroughly enjoyed a good deal of their shows over the years, particularly ones produced for Cartoon Network in the late ’90s such as Dexter’s Laboratory and Cow and Chicken, a large number of their earlier works are, in short, almost unbearable. No, I’m not going to be that much of a dick (this time) and harp on the animation quality; in fact, I can only commend them for managing to generate something on a regular basis off of a shoe-string budget in the days before cheap Korean outsourcing and Flash. Instead, my beef is with the writing of the shows themselves. Even as a kid, I could never understand what made shows like The Flintstones or The Jetsons so popular, and as an adult (yes, I technically am one by this point), I’m even more confused.

Scooby-Doo is probably the one show in the lot that I despised the most.

The premise was always the same. A random group of jobless, apparently orphaned teenagers drive around in a run-down van with a talking dog in search of “mysteries”. In turn, they consistently find some old man or woman attempting to scam someone else by dressing up as a monster or ghost, locate a handful of clues as to the person’s identity, and then manage to unmask the culprit in front of the authorities and various witnesses (in the process making the clues almost entirely superfluous, mind you), all the while churning out one horrible joke or pun after another to a canned laugh track. I would think that by some point, Shaggy and Scooby would have realized that pretty much every fucking monster they came across was fake, but instead they insist on continually soiling their shorts at the mere mention of a ghost, leading further merit to the accusations that they must be on drugs all the time-DAMMIT NOW I’M MAKING THE SAME POT-JOKES ABOUT A COUPLE CARTOON CHARACTERS AS EVERY OTHER DIRTY HIPPY OVER THE PAST FORTY YEARS.

So, Scooby-Doo Mystery is a somewhat noble effort (for the era, at least, and for the cartoon license) at making an adventure/platform game based on the show, but the puzzles are a bit too simplistic, and the platforming elements are fairly tedious.

Is “platforming” even a real word?

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