Rise of the Robots

Bender would beat the shit out of either of these assholes.

This game is shockingly bad.  You can only play one character.  There are only six other characters, who you fight in the same order.  Everyone only has two moves.  The AI spams the same move over and over and does more damage than you.  Multiplayer involves the first player using the crappy one character, and the second player choosing one of the bosses, who do more damage and take more damage to kill.

The pre-rendered graphics were clearly the focus of development time.  They were really hyped up, apparently, so much so that one magazine gave this buzzing fly-ridden pile a 90%.  It’s a shame that there is only an incredibly terrible game underneath those graphics – which aren’t even that good, even by SNES standards.

Reading little snippets of the video game market in the past make me feel a bit better about our current state of affairs.  Sometimes people worry that we care too much about graphics, at the cost of other areas of development.  Well, complain as you will, I have yet to play a game with great graphics in this generation that was anywhere near as skull-fuckingly atrocious as this game.