Raiden Trad

Things shooting at things.

Among other things, Raiden Trad is an anagram for Dad Trainer. You might think this is nothing but a coincidence, but in the sinister world of SNES games, there’s no such thing as a coincidence: every single part of a game is deliberately designed to frustrate, annoy, and ultimately train people’s dads. Wait no, that’s just this game. Dad Trainer.

Another entry in the “fly your spaceship forward/up while shooting endless bullets as endless bullets are shot at you” genre, Raiden Trad is absolutely—and let me stress this here—absolutely nothing you haven’t seen or played before. How do you review a game you’ve played before again and again? What new things can you say that haven’t already been said? Much like the endless bullets, nearly endless words have been expended on other games exactly like this one. In some cases, my words! My precious and quickly diminishing words!

Speaking of endless bullets, it’s clear that these craft aren’t nearly large enough to be storing this seemingly infinite ammunition, which begs the question: why are we fighting? The population of this world has managed to invent a way to either convert matter into ammo of various types, or it can create said ammunition out of nothingness(!!!). Surely this technology could be adopted to solve the world’s problems? Infinite Jessica Albas…

Pointless pot shots at video game conventions aside, Raiden Trad is the exact kind of video game I used to love when I was younger and vehemently despise now. I can no longer abide the relentless repetitive nature of the twitch-based overhead shooter. All the tiny bullets and explosions and twirling machines blend together into a pulsating blanket of motion that wears on my eyes and makes me sad inside as well as outside.

In the quest to review Every Game Ever, there are some standouts, some great disappointments/hilarious mishaps, and then there’s the rest. Raiden Trad falls calmly into the “rest” category. The controls are a little pokey which makes it hard to dodge the cavalcade of tiny orange bullets, the music is blah, and the graphics of the game are bland and in many cases kind of really (super) boring a lot++.

This is the second last sentence in the article where I often try to sum up the game and my overall opinion of it so then the last sentence can be where I say something funny.

Raiden Trad is also an anagram for A Diner Tard.

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