Prince of Persia 2

There’s this irritating thing that happens when reviewing for this site sometimes. A game is bad, but you want to get far enough to be confident in that fact, so you end up playing it far longer than expected. It’s no secret that some of these games get played for like 20 minutes, but when it came to Prince of Persia 2, I bashed my head against the wall for upwards of two hours on one stupid part of the game near the beginning. You have to somehow open a door, and there are vanishing platforms over some quicksand. I am pretty sure you need to jump on all of them except this one with a symbol on it. Too bad this game controls like garbage. I tried about 20 times before giving up in utter misery.

So, I can’t do it. I can’t put words together for this. It’s not even that it’s awful, in that way that The Room or Troll 2 is awful (which is to say, it has no heart in its junkfulness). It’s just nothing special. I am probably way off base, here. I recognize that. To someone, somewhere, (in fact, many people, many-where) this game is great. There are plenty of people who had one of those silly retro computers (Amiga or Tandy or Apple II or whatever other silly names that don’t sound like real devices there are) who love games like this. They get it, in some way, that I never will. Maybe it’s blind nostalgia speaking on their behalf, but maybe there’s something to it. I haven’t found it, though.

My apathy can be summed up as such: I like games to be pretty. This game isn’t ugly, it’s just plain-looking. It isn’t awful, it’s mediocre. Perhaps the most telling thing, though, is that it isn’t fun. It’s boring.

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