Power Moves

Back in the early nineties, Capcom came out with a little game called Street Fighter II…perhaps you heard of it? Anyway, from what I hear, a lot of people thought it was a pretty good game, so good on you, Capcom! It seems a fair share of developers took note as well and tried to capitalize on its success with their own similar offerings. Some were alright (SNK made a few good ones, seem to have done well…), but most were shit.

One Japanese development company called Kaneko, best known probably for the racist beat-em-up DJ Boy, thought about giving it a go. Guess how well this one turned out?

I’m trying to think of how to describe it. Probably the best I’ve come up with so far would be something along the lines of “watered-down piss”, but I’m not 100% sure what actual watered-down piss is like, so I can’t really back that statement entirely. It’s like they really wanted to make some cash on the fighting game craze, but instead of actually, I don’t know, trying to make a halfway decent game, they just expended the bare-minimum effort needed to get a few characters beating the shit out of each other on-screen, while spending the majority of their time taking bong hits and watching animated porn. Who says I have to make any sense!?

Okay, I’m probably just in a bad mood, what from lack of sleep and all, and I’m just being too harsh on them. I mean, Power Moves does have some good qualities. Like, for starters, it’s in color. Additionally, it doesn’t insult you when you’re naked, unlike some people I know (myself included). It also doesn’t get angry at you for wanting to hang out with your friends every now and then, and tries not to judge you for your career choices.

In all, it’s probably nice to have around, just not, you know, for playing.

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

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