Power Instinct

Power Instinct is, pretty much, a waste of time. At least, on the surface. An Atlus-published low-quality fighting game in the vein of Street Fighter II and wahtever game SNK had recently crapped out, it pits two projectile-throwing (usually) fighters against each other in an all-out fight to be the slowest person to have their life bar turn entire red from yellow.

While virtually everything about this title is standard, it is worth mentioning that there is one amazing curio in this game: never have I seen a fighting game nail the CREEPY OLD WITCH LADY archetype so flawlessly. Observe:

Her projectile attack involves shooting her dentures at enemies.

Look how her face gets all floppy. She must be pulling her entire jaw out. IV-inject your heart out, Mr. Ebert (too soon?).

Don’t worry though, you can do this more than once: she has replacement teeth in endless supply.

Her shoryuken-style attack is the real piece de resistance, though. A giant fucking ghost head (which is her own head, only bigger, and translucent, and yellow) comes out of her eye and carries her into the air, damaging the enemy through a combination of fear, bludgeoning and confusion as to what the fuck kind of fighting tournament did I join oh God.

Of course, why would the ridiculousness end when the fighting does? When she wins a battle, she transforms into a big-titted anime lady. Makes perfect sense.

In conclusion: junk. But awesome, weird junk. The kind of junk that this site exists to get to the bottom of. Old lady who shoots her own ghost out of her eye junk.

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