Can someone explain this game to me? I have to write a review on it, and I have no idea what’s going on. It’s due today, guys! Help me out!

Will wants 300 words from me (that’s, like, EIGHT PAGES double spaced). He said I could talk about whatever I wanted as long as it had something to do with the game. What does that mean? What does he want? I think he wants me to be funny, but he hasn’t really told me HOW to be funny.

I started doing the research; Wikipedia says that this game was developed by Peter Molyneux. Can I put that in my review?

Here’s where I really need help, though: what the fuck? I mean… what the fuck? Can someone please tell me what this game is supposed to be about? I started up the tutorial, fully expecting tutoring, but was met with density of expression. The only thing I could figure out how to do was make mountains. So I struck out against the indigenous population of whateverland and turned all their houses, religious places, and religious symbols into mountains. That seems to be about all I can do. Is that it?  According to Wikipedia, Molyneux made it so that you can terraform shit because “he was too lazy to design the many pre-defined maps that would have otherwise been required” (Wikipedia, 2010). It seems to me that this is humorous. I want to put this in my review, but perhaps I should abscond?

How did I make this castle?

Okay, here’s what I have written so far.

In the history of games, there has been one game that has stood out as being interesting in many ways. This game is Populous. I played this game for an hour and I understood it deeply. In it, people are dancing on an island. When you click on them you can make the ground raise. You can do this in the oceans, too, and make new land. Thus, Populous is a game in which you can change the geographical shape of a world on which people seem to live and dance and possibly worship Christ. Thus, it is a game about how confusing it would be to a god when all you could do is mess about tectonically.

I underlined my thesis. What do you think?

Word count: 393 words.

Sorry, Will.