NHL 95

“Ottawa’s first pick for NHL 95, number 17: Brilliam Isawesome.”

Thus began the career of one of Ottawa’s many bust first-round draft picks: Brilliam Isawesome.

Entering the league with an overall score of 91, he was built to slot right into the first line of the team. He should have been the next (or rather, first) Alexander Ovechkin.

One game, and it was a slow enough start to what could still be an illustrious career. Not one of the three stars, he scored no goals, no assists, and a plus-minus of -2. Still, he was young, and perhaps brought up without a proper stint in the minor leagues. Some conditioning, even in the major leagues, would see him emerge as a great star.

About three minutes into his second game, he was on the ice for another opposition penalty, this time against rivals Montreal. It was around this point that he skated off the ice, into the dressing room, and quit the game of hockey forever.

That is, until he was drafted in NHL 96. And 98. And 2003. And 2008. and 2009. And 2010.

I love fake sports.

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