Mickey’s Ultimate Challenge

If you think hard enough, all your dreams will come true.

– Mickey Mouse. The Secret.

Dear Issac!

If you look at a penis long enough it becomes a Mickey Mouse! This is significance that Darwinists everywhere refute, but it is true! Do you believe it?! Even YOU can be a religious person!

If God does not exist how can Mickey Mouse look so much like a penis?! The Lord himself once said: “Give me thine hands… oh, fuck! I mean ‘penis’!” Actually, maybe that wasn’t the Lord.

Now we made a game so that you can play as Mickey the Mouse for free! You can be as one with the Mouse as I am. All the time. My spirit bleeds with songs of golden showering gold! I eat heaven cereal for breakfast! I eat snakes like YOU for breakfast!!

We made this game with YOU especially in mind, Issac! Issac, your mother came over for dinner last night and told me all about your school and how no one likes you at your school and then we had social intercourse! Not you and I! I and your mom! Your mom thinks that this game is great! I told her all about how you can be a mouse and how you walk really slowly. She thought that was the best part! She likes it when mice walk slow because I think she is afraid of mice and I think that she wants a man around the house to be there for her and to hold her.

I don’t know how to tell you this but……….. In this game, you have to do some really stupid shit. I made this game so hard! One place in the game: you have to make the same farting sounds that the little ducks do! That’s how you lower the drawbridge! You know what they give you when you do that, Issac? They give you a shoe!

Issac are you listening!

I want you to think really hard about what I’m saying to you! I’m telling you that this game is for people who want to engage in philosophical discussions!


Why does it matter if you can’t dust the pictures off before the lamp light runs out? It seems like a completely arbitrary contest.

Well, time is ticking on into the future and a learned man like me needs to get back to the old grind!

Tah Tah!


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