Magical Quest


For those of you who aren’t nearly cynical enough to play every SNES game, here’s the back story on this one.

Mickey Mouse has murdered his dog. Now it’s your job to convince the crown prosecutor that he’s innocent. Will you be able to stand up in the face of what is right to argue a point?

Not in this game you wont. This game takes place outside the courtroom scenes we all remember from our childhood. It takes us into the mind of the mouse who murdered his best friend.

Mickey’s psychoanalyst, Dr. Ken Dickens, wrote the novel upon which this game was based. He titled it Holy Fuck, I Have PTSD because he just couldn’t give a care.

Here’s what he had to say about his role in the development of the game:

In the opening sequence, Mickey is at what will later become known as scene zero. It is here that he commits the murder, sending his life into the downward spiral that ended in his young death. You see, when he witnessed the cruelty and finality of his own actions, his mind became like tissue paper – he blew his nose in it. The snot from his nose created a world of hallucinations. That world is recreated here, albeit insufficiently. If one truly wants to experience the dramatic shift that Mickey did, one should take some morpheme, some acid, and then have a three-legged race with your grandparents. Your partner in the three legged race must, of course, be the carcass of a recently murdered dog. It is the only way to get the true effect.

In these early scenes, the viewer has no control over the action. He or she must watch as Mickey sends his own dog careening over a cliff. The ball bounces past him, followed closely by Pluto. Mickey stares after. Soon Goofy comes and waggles his ass all over the place. Mickey says again and again that he “lost” his dog. Goofy, a gentle soul with not much of a mind at all, giggles off to find him, but no! The dog is not lost, Goofy! It is dead! Off a cliff!! Curse you your innocence and your naiveté!!

Mickey loses his marbles right about then. In a delusion, he imagines himself jumping off the same cliff upon whose face Pluto perished. This is known, in the business, as transference. Sometimes it is true suicide, while mostly it is just a half-assed vision kind of thing. Mickey imagines that his dog has been captured to avoid the strong emotions he feels on the matter.

Mickey Mouse died last year at the age of thirty-five in his home after a long battle with mental illness and self-stabbing. He leaves behind two children and a puppy named Pluto II.

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