Last Action Hero

Some fucking compelling drama right here, my friends.  Look how invested he is in that punch.  He looks like he's pushing a button in an elevator.  He also looks like he's made of potatoes.
Some fucking compelling drama right here, my friends. Look how invested he is in that punch. He looks like he's pushing a button in an elevator. He also looks like he's made of potatoes.

ANOTHER BEATEMUP

FANTASTIC

There are more crushingly fucking awful beatemups on this goddamn console than there are licensed platformers with stupid cartoony animal protagonists.

This one was interesting, at least, because it was nearly impossible to get past the third screen.  I certainly couldn’t do it.  You have to fight a knife guy a very specific way or he’ll always hit you; you have to fight a bat guy the opposite way.  The third screen pits you against both a knife guy and a bat guy, and it is impossible to hit either one of them without getting absolutely devastated by the other guy.

On top of that, this is probably the ugliest game I have played while reviewing for this site.

Why would anyone play these fucking games?

Jesus.