Kirby’s Dream Course

Silly munchkin.
Silly munchkin.

I am the tiger-woods of Kirby’s Dream Course. By that I mean, of course, that I am a series of trees that are, by definition, tiger. Tiger trees. Kind of like birch trees, but orange and black. If you don’t believe me, let me Google that for you. See? Tiger trees are real, and they eat cows!

I eat cows at Kirby’s Dream Course.

When I’m not pretending to be flesh eating foliage, I sometimes get hole(s) in one(s). Here’s a compilation:

Admittedly, a one of those is a duplicate and I cheated to get all of them. This game is pretty hard for a game about blob with powers who occasionally golfs. It’s all precise and… ya know… blob physics… that sort of thing. If you give your shot just a bit too much power, you’ll bounce out of the hole like a man without a condom. If you give your shot just a bit too little power you’ll never even make it to the hole — like the girls with dyed hair who tried to go to Preston’s house but FAILED (YouTube link). We’ll never know why they wanted to go to Preston’s house but we can only imagine that they are well too under-age for any sort of coital behaviour. Maybe they were going over there because he had Kirby’s Dream Course and they wanted to play two-player, something you could most certainly do, especially if it was 1995. But then poor Preston would feel left out. Maybe they were going to play Risk. I can only speculate.

This game is pretty awesome, though. You can make your own name using stencils and pencils. That is to say, you can’t make your own name, but you can draw boobies! I drew boobies accompanied by a woman with very square shoulders and very large teeth.


I think Kirby was a little pissed about the whole boobs thing ’cause he flipped me off.

Right, mate! Same a' you!!
Right, mate! Same a' you!!

The End

2 thoughts on “Kirby’s Dream Course

  1. That is pretty stupid. But if you think about it, it’s something that golfers have to deal with every day. If they don’t eat enough tomatoes, they die, just like you or me.

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