Incantation

This game has wizards n' shit
This game has wizards n' shit

Incantation is a pretty by the numbers side-scroller where you play as a wizard with really non-threatening magic. You can jump around and collect coins, and occasionally you’ll teleport somewhere else in the stage by shooting a crystal with your non-threatening magic. The graphics are all cutesy and bright, the music is…present, and the control is fine.

That’s it.

I’ve reviewed enough of these games to tell you that there’s nothing special here, nor is there anything particularly offensive. Incantation just is. Why don’t you ask me to review some toast?

I could review toast and it would be more interesting. I love toast. Eat it almost every day. A bit of browned brown bread with some peanut butter slathered on that sucker is a wonderful second breakfast. I like to darken my toast so it’s firm and crunchy with the centre approaching softness. I don’t understand those misguided souls that burn their toast beyond recognition. All carbon and a mouth full of ashes. Breakfast time tragedies.

Now that I think back on it, I don’t remember if Incantation has an intro screen or a storyline of any kind. Why is the deformed little wizard so intent on blasting everything with his benign sorcery (wizardry)? He’s probably trying to save someone from something, but who and from what? Why is he on his own? Doesn’t he know that, as a wizard, he’s compelled to find a “meatshield” and hide behind it for the entirety of any battle? He is not minimizing his weaknesses or maximizing his strengths at all. Clearly he can’t cast spells above 4th level because his INT isn’t that high*!

The problem with games like Incantation is that they ride this line between almost decent and terrible where I can’t really latch on to anything to talk about. They just sit there, being. Like I said already, Incantation just is. It doesn’t care that you’re not interested, it doesn’t care that you’re ambivalent, it doesn’t care about anything or anyone. It’s Incantation. It has a tiny wizard who fires little balls at things.

If you like wizards, this game has an approximation of one.

* That was a joke from 2nd edition Dungeons and Dragons, so I’ll understand if you’re too young or cool or a combination of both to get it. Be happy you don’t get that joke.

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