Because I am on the cutting edge of social media, I decided to write a review of The Great Circus Mystery partially in the style of a series of tweets. At the time of this writing, the Twitter names used did not exist. If they do now, hey, maybe you have some free followers. You can thank me (@iscoff) later. If you find this confusing because you don’t understand how Twitter works, you can complain about it to me at @iscoff.
@freakmickey: Going to the circus with @69minnie69. gonna eat peanuts and cotton candy until I puke and then laugh at whomever has to clean it up.
@69minnie69: @freakmickey i swear to god if u smell like vomit again 2day ur gonna have to look at pluto if u wanna get laid u dirty f#ck
@freakmickey: @69minnie69 Don’t lie baby, you like it DIRTY.
@69minnie69: @freakmickey not that dirty u filthy mousef#ck!! im not reliving the day we went 2 tha fleamarket
@ghbgoofy: @freakmickey @69minnie69 GAWRSH! A hyuck hyuck hyuck! You two shur are werid!
@whatsthatdonald: RT@ghbgoofy: @freakmickey @69minnie69 GAWRSH! A hyuck hyuck hyuck! You two shur are werid! – yss i cmpretry ahgrheee
@69minnie69: @whatsthatdonald What? what the f#ck did u say? lern to type u pantless retard
@whatsthatdonald: @69minnie69 you try typng wthh fethrrrsss bttch
@ghbgoofy: A hyuck hyuck hyuck!
@ghbgoofy: Hyuck hyuck
@freakmickey: Gonna be late to the circus ’cause Minnie dropped her dental dam in the garbage and I have to fish it out
@freakmickey: This is really gross you guys
@whatsthatdonald: thss cirsss is sooooo fcked uppp! why the fckk am i in thsss box? fffcckkk
@ghbgoofy: Yerr Mickey I’d take a pash on this circus if’n I wash you! They put shomethin’ in muh brain! MUH BRAINWEM!E@E!
@69minnie69: don’t worry @freakmickey, I’ll bring our bag of weird outfits and costumes and we can dress up and kill bitches
And what a gimmick that was! The Great Circus Mystery is a decent enough game if you like gameplay and anthropomorphic mice*, but if you’re like me and seeking the endorphin rush that only comes with vivid depictions of onscreen violence and mayhem, you’ll be sorely disappointed by the total lack of blood, guts or any sort of viscera that would otherwise be entertaining. You can jump on creatures’ heads, but they’re obviously still alive, so what’s the point?
The Great Circus Mystery is a fine game for stupid babies and the developmentally disabled.
* but only kind of like…not too much, since there’s no yiffing here, you sad sacks of crap.