Fire Striker

FUCK BITCHES, GET MONEY, BREAK BLOCKS, GAIN LEVELS.
FUCK BITCHES, GET MONEY, BREAK BLOCKS, GAIN LEVELS.

GAMES THAT FIRE STRIKER DEVS LIKED:

1. Legend of Zelda
2. Arkanoid

THINGS I LOVE:

1. Arkanoid / arkanoid clones
2. Games that mash up different things

THINGS THIS GAME DOES:

1. mash up Zelda and Arkanoid
2. Have hilarious names

There’s you. There’s a ball. You run around attacking the ball like Link. The ball bounces around and breaks walls. Finishing a wall lets you through to the next level. Letting it hit the bottom wall too many times breaks through and kills you.

HOW DOES NOBODY KNOW HOW AWESOME THIS GAME IS?

IT'S LIKE A MIX OF "BLADER" AND "SLICER," ISN'T THAT OBVIOUS YOU MOMO?

I mean, yeah, there’s “The King Of WIND” with his curious capitalization, and there’s the main character (A.C?) Slader, and there’s some bullshit English “story” attempts. But, seriously. I love fun, and this game is fun. Now I want to brainstorm more classic arcade game / 16-bit gem mashup concepts (DON’T STEAL MY IDEAS!!!! AS OF RIGHT NOW, WRITING THIS, I HAVE NOT EVEN THOUGHT OF THEM YET, BUT I BET THEY WILL BE GOLD!):

Okay, so… hmm. What’s a game that is awesome? And old? Okay, Donkey Kong. So you have to climb up a thing to get a thing. There are ladders and obstacles.

Then I gotta think of a game people love for its gameplay from the 16-bit era. How about, like, Streets of Rage? Okay, so it’s an awesome brutal brawler with dudes all attacking you and you gotta get to the top of a skyscraper Die Hard-style but there are also inexplicable BOULDERS FALLING DOWN ALL OF THE ESCALATORS ALL THE TIME which sometimes even hit the badguys (LAUGHS!) but also make your life miserable (SADS!) generally. One of the floors is a pie factory! And when you get to the top… the game fucks up! KILL SCREEN ON FLOOR 30! THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVER HAD BY ANYONE EVER. I AM GOING TO CALL IT:

FIGHTING WARRIORS

Because yeah, if you have an amazing game idea you DEFINITELY want to give it a shitty boring name, RIIIIIIIIGHT FIRE STRIKER? THAT WAY NOBODY WILL EVER BOTHER CHECKING IT OUT!

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