FIFA Soccer 96

I THOUGHT THIS GAME WAS FROM 1996!

Dear Diary:

I am so excited! Today is my first day of soccer hooliganism! I moved here to London from my hometown of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, to maybe eat some crumpets (delicious, by the way!) and perhaps see the Royal Guard (I did a dance in front of one, he didn’t even move! Wow!). What I didn’t expect was to meet these really cool guys who brought me into their secret club!

They’re called the Yid Army. no, they’re not Jewish though! My mom would LAY AN EGG if she found out I was hanging out with Jews! They are a fan of the soccerball sports team called Tottenham Hotspur. It’s a pretty cool sport– can you imagine running and kicking a ball for 90 minutes with no breaks?! I’d be so tired!

Anyway, the guys saw me working out at the gym and noticed that I had some pretty big muscles so they told me to come with them! They hate these guys called the Headhunters, you see, who are fans of another soccerball sports establishment called FC Chelsea. The FC stands for Football Club! Which is weird, because it’s soccer, not football, and they’re the team, not the club (the Headhunters are the club, remember?!).

Well, I better go! I have to rest up for the big hooliganing day I have tomorrow!

Hugs and kisses,

Stevie

I MISS THE 90'S, SOCCER FAN VERSION: TOTTENHAM > CHELSEA

Deerrrdirayy:

Washed sokcre gaame at pub. Tost nham losed game!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [drawing of angry face here]. FUCKING CHAKLESKY FANS!!!!!!! we fight themm. Winning! We fight them. Chleksi fanms are not good!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! but

cricket bat in face today not feel so good. NO HEATLTH CAREE! oh no!!!!!!!!! says i have concussion someone IS OKAY! tomorrow i will FIX IT but time to sleeepe!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD NIIIIIGHT JOURNAL

STEVIE!!!!!!!!!!

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