Jem JEM goddamnit get your father another beer I’m like to dry up and expire right here in my chair you wouldn’t want that whose pension is gonna put your goddamn cocoapuffs on the table when I’m dead and gone and paramedics are haulin my ass out this lazyboy and you’re sittin there crying over my body like some kind of pansy there’s too much of your mother in ya I always said ah thanks my son that’ll really PSSSSSSHHHTT hit the spot.
Was a time son when your dear old dad was somone t’ tussle with a real fighter Uncle Sam had me takin a slope name and going in fighting all manner of freaks and weirdos russkies boxers the whole nine. Said we’d end this goddamn cold war if we could just show em who’s boss power percieved is power archieved my son don’t matter if we ever put a goddamn American on the moon only matters that the reds think we did.
Japan 1967 my son sent me to beat up this old withered fighter Jubei some student of goddamn Ken-Po Karate or some damn thing he was a pretty good fighter but couldn’t take a hit worth a damn time was your old man could channel chi with a punch, put any pansy ya might name right through the wall, dropped him to the floor inside a minute got a medal and shook hands with goddamn Tricky Dick hisself your mother took the photo in the divorce said she wanted to remember me for lying goddamn scum in good company what does that old biddy know no Jem you’re right I shouldn’t be calling your mother names while shes dead in the ground god rest her soul.
Goddamnit son turn on the AC getting drier than a cheerleader in chess club there ya go get me another Pabst while you’re up your old man has a thirst tonight. Alright where was I oh they had this Russki oh oh lord son goddamn it hurts call the ambulance do it right goddamn now aght augahhshsh nnnffffff.