Fatal Fury

This is a fighting game that someone made in probably the 90s about like I don’t know a group of three or whatever guys who are for the record I think good guys and I guess they go around and fight bad guys because that’s what good guys do.

At the beginning it makes you pick from three guys who are really weird looking as one of them is this dude who looks kinda like a muay thai type dude while another one is a trucker hat-wearing bro and the third is some guy who has long blonde hair and some karate type clothes which probably makes it seem as if he is a karate guy but they never actually say if he is.

This is the Muay Thai guy but to his left you can see two brothers who I have heard are called Andy and Terry Bogard which I suppose means that they are some sort of relatives.

Once you pick a guy in the same way that I did when I picked the guy who looks like he is wearing a karate-type outfit (which I heard is called a gi) and has blonde hair then it shows you four possible places that you can pick to fight that are in some large city that has pretend names for all of its neighborhoods which seem based on nothing but in retrospect it may have had something to do with New York City since pretty much any pretend city that has “neighborhoods” in it is based on New York City from what I’ve seen growing up on these junky video games with their facile stories.

I picked one without looking because in the end I figured that the decision was a big waste of time since it was the first time I was playing and I didn’t know what was easy and what was difficult (kind of like a Mega Man game the first time you play it) but man I picked horribly because I fought this dude who was not only about nine feet tall but had the ability to grab my LIFE BAR AND DO A WEIRD BIBCYCLE KICK THING AT ME which is really fucking unfair since all I can figure out how to do is “kick” and “punch” and perhaps “other kick.”

There's so much about this image that bothers me from a purely antipostmodern perspective as I am not exactly a huge fan of fourth-wall breaking such as what's going on here with a guy kciknig me in the FUCKING FACE while hanging from MY LIFE BAR which should NOT EXIST in his world (only mine).

All in all if I were to talk about this game I would have to say I did not have a fun time although it’s not actually the worst thing in the world because there are much worse things one oculd do with their time in a fun-based context such as eating ten buckets full of slug-covered apples or perhaps listening ot the “tick tick tick” of a car that was just turned off in hot weather.

Play something else.