Doom

dooma

A 200×200, 256-color .gif file of the Mona Lisa.

Looking down from the top of the Eiffel Tower replica in Paris, Tennessee.

Three drunk dudes singing “Don’t Stop Believing” at a karaoke bar.

Fritz Lang’s Metropolis on an iPod.

A Croatian translation of A Tale Of Two Cities when your knowledge of Croatian is sketchy at best.

Nick Ut’s photograph of a Vietnamese child, naked and covered in napalm burns, as viewed on a cell phone which in turn took a photo from the viewscreen of a digital camera which took a picture of the original.

Shakespeare, as read by a Grade 9 English class, most of whom believe Iambic Pentameter is some metal band.

A replica of the Guggenheim made out of Lego, as interpreted by a decidedly non-idiot savant eight-year-old with Ice Planet and Batman prefab facades.

A yellow belt in karate demonstrating a roundhouse kick.

A Veggieburger.

Adobe Photoshop CS4 with 512MB of RAM.

Any time anyone you ever knew “did the robot.”

doomb

Sometimes, things that are good seem bad because of how you experience them. If you want to play Doom, don’t play it on the Super Nintendo. Get it running on a PC, dummy! For your health!

(That said, the music on the SPC chip is actually better. Go figure.)

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2 thoughts on “Doom

  1. Some of those things actually sound pretty great though! Three drunk dudes belting out “Don’t Stop Believing” at karaoke sounds like a laugh riot, as does an English class brutally massacring Shakespeare.

    In fact, if you could edit a music video of the three dudes in such a way that included occasional slow motion sequences (“DOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWNNNNNNN TUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH SSSSSHHHHHTTTTAAAAAAWWWWWWP BEEEEEEE-LEEEEEEEVINNNNNN”), I’d have to go to the hospital so I didn’t asphyxiate from laughter.

    The end of the music video would have to be a close-up of their ruddy, sweating faces as they stared intently at the camera with bleary eyes, wet hair at odd angles. As it fades to black, one of them begins to vomit in slow motion.

  2. Ugh, I hate to say so, but the video under the link “for your health” has been removed from youtube. Lame! Now i’ll never know just how bad this could be for the SNES.

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