Donkey Kong Country 2

Juggle for me. Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
Juggle for me. Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

Just re-read the Donkey Kong Country review and then add a girl monkey and slightly better graphics and get the hell out of my office. Close the door and don’t bother me for three hours. If you hear a gunshot, open the door and take a picture and then seal that picture in this envelope and send it to the media. If all goes well, it will be in the HOME & GARDEN section. This will make more sense if/when it happens.

What do you expect me to say about DKC 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest? This is a pretty good gameā€”it’s even a little better than the first one, maybe. You collect bananas and tokens and ride on a rhinoceros and sometimes Diddy (not Sean Combs) wears sunglasses and rocks out to some beats. The graphics are pretty phenomenal for a SNES game, the music isn’t annoying in the slightest and the controls are “snappy” (whatever that means) and responsive (maybe it means responsive? Was this redundant?) like your mother.

This game had some high production values and it shows. Nintendo coddles their hairy babies: apes and Italian plumbers alike.

It’s pretty interesting to see the Kong family’s continued and troubling barrel fetish come into play so often. I’ve been fishing around for a joke involving hobbits since Mekki made some weird reference to Mordor down there in his review and we all know how much hobbits like riding around in barrels. Remember? From the Hobbit? They float to Lake Town? Anyone? Bueller? Chief? McCloud!

In conclusion, more pop culture references/throw-away absurd jokes and absolutely no insightful analysis whatsoever. Business as usual.

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