Dino City

Man, another dinosaur based platformer on the SNES. This is, what, the third or fourth one? I mean JESUS. Come up with something more interesting. This cartoon dino shit is ruining dinosaurs for me (one of my fave things btw). This one pits you against cavemans in a “who will win the anachronistic battle of the AGES” where no matter who wins you lose because in one scenario you get a game over screen and in the other YOU’VE JUMPED ON ALL OF YOUR ANCESTORS AND CAUSED A TIME PARADOX.

There’s not much to say about–

YO WHAT! YO! YO YO LADY!
YO WHAT! YO! YO YO LADY!

Uhh–

YO BABY WHASSUP? MMM GIRL YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT SHIT WHEN YOU JUMP! UNH, YEAH! WORK IT, BITCH! YOU A CAAAAVE BITCH HUH! YOU REAL HAPPY TOO, HUH BITCH! SMILE FOR ME, PRECIOUS, SMILE FOR ME! YEAH, I’MA JUMP ON YO’ HEAD WHEN YOU GET OVER HERE– THEN I AM GOING TO STRAIGHT UP JUMP ON YOUR PUSSY! WITH MY DICK! C’MON, BITCH! LET’S GET THIS MOTHERFUCKING SHIT GOING! YOU ARE GONNA BE SO GODDAMN…. SO GODDAMN PLATFORMED BY THE TIME I AM DONE WITH YOU! FUCKIN’… LET ME MARIO LOSE A LIFE IN YOUR BOTTOMLESS PIT, KNOMSHANG LADY? FUCK BABY YOU AND I GONNA SMOKE SOME FIREFLOWER AND GET WEIRD! MY WARP WHISTLE IS STRAIGHT UP ALL “YO LET’S GET IN THAT PIPE MOTHERFUCKER” AND I AM ALL “YO WHISTLE FIRST YOU GOTTA GET BLOWED ON MY THIS BITCH!” THATS YOU! YOU GUM BLOW ON MY WARP WHISTLE AND THEN I AM GONNA GO UP IN A PIPE! I AM GONNA GET MY P-WING — THE P STANDS FOR PUSSY! MY PUSSY WING! I AM GUM GET IT!

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