Demon’s Crest

Undead dragon? Fine by me!
Undead dragon? Fine by me!

Since I started writing for Every Game Ever, I’ve played a lot of SNES games that I was unaware existed back when I was young enough* to play SNES games. For the most part, I don’t feel as though I missed anything, but Demon’s Crest is a bit of an exception. Much like Disney’s Aladdin, I like this game. Perhaps not coincidentally, it’s also a Capcom game. I like Capcom. I don’t love them like I love dice, drugs or clever improvisational wordplay, but as I mentioned back in my Aladdin review, they usually manage to create a product that’s at least decent.

Good work Capcom! When the final judgment arrives, I will ensure all of your deaths are relatively quick—such is the mercy of my great beneficence. Praise be to the DARK STAIN OF ABADDON AS IT SPREADS UNCHECKED THROUGH THE MORTAL REALM! CRUSH THE COPTICS AND RUN THE STREETS RED WITH THE BLOOD OF THOSE WHO OPPOSE HIS FRACTIOUS LOCUSTS! ABADDON! ABADDON!

I like the fact that you can fly around in this game. Tap the ‘A’ button once to jump, and hit it a second time to hover in the air! It almost makes the game a little easy since you can sail over the heads of your unwitting foes. You can also spit fire and smash statues—not all of the statues, mind you—both of which are quite enjoyable. The graphics are pleasing to the eye, and I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that the main character is modeled after one of the villains from Ghouls ‘n Ghosts, so that’s neat.

Supposedly there’s also an RPG element to this game, but I didn’t play far enough to reach it since my duties keep me otherwise occupied in the NETHER ZONE**. As the flesh sloughs from the twisted faces of the poor wretches caught in the maelstrom of the unholy furnace, I will look and them and laugh and remember fondly the controls, graphics and perhaps even the music of Demon’s Crest!

But most of all, I’ll remember you, reader of Every Game Ever. You almost taught me what love was—if only it hadn’t been too late. Too late for the world you know: too late for your mothers and fathers and sisters and daughters and brothers and sons. Remark now the sky as it is blotted out with Abaddon’s minions and remark now the earth and its crawling darkness.

* I am too old for this shit. I’m about to retire. Gonna sail around the world on my boat, the “Not Get Killed in a Hilariously Stereotypical Fashion Just Before Retirement in a Way That Inspires My Younger and More Action-Oriented Partner to Seek Revenge Against Multiple Opponents Who are Significantly Less Capable Than Him.” The name of my boat seems to annoy the people at the marina for some reason.

** This can mean basically whatever you want it to mean. Go crazy.