Captain America and the Avengers


Terrorists always win. At least, they do when I play this game. Or maybe they’re not terrorists (although I don’t know why captain America would fight otherwise, unless they were giant bags of cocaine (since he is an active soldier in both the war on drugs and the war on terrorism (and possibly the war in Iraq so maybe they’re from there or something))). All I know is that whatever the fuck they are, whoever the fuck they are, whatever the ufck they’re on, they’ll beat you.

Captain America. Iron Man. Glowing white guy. Some other person. They’ll all fall, one-by-one, as you get kicked to death from all angles like and they collect the precious candy inside of you (Wait, that’s Captain Pinata). Seriously. It’s a fucking mess. You cannot win. Sometimes they catch you with a rope and circle-punch you. It’s not fair, damnit. The only way I found to survive was to constantly use your jump attack, just so you’d never be low enough for them to be able to hit you. Even then, sometimes they catch you between leaps. It’s stupid. Why the fuck are these thugs beating a dude MADE OF IRON? I hate this.

I never had comics growing up. It was a small town, and there was jsut no place that sold them; even if there were, I wouldn’t be able to afford it. Two bucks a week isn’t a lot of money, you know? So I have no attachment to glowing white guy or the other one. not even Iron Man or Captain America. Whatever, man. The Avengers? More like The Borings. PFFFFF. PASS.

One thought on “Captain America and the Avengers

  1. The comics weren’t so bad. You already know Iron Man, best hero they got, and Captain A, the cover-boy of heroes that were made from cutting-edge drugs.

    But yeah, of the multiple versions of this arcade game, this one blows.

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