Boxing: Legends of the Ring

Take a seat, son. Lemme tell you about the greatest boxer to ever play the game for 10 minutes. Boxing was becoming a stale sport. People weren’t gathering in front of HBO, gentlemen were not making gentleman’s bets, and the roar and hiss of the crowd had been replaced by sighs and yawns. One day, something magical happened.

Traincar was a hard hittin' cuss who wouldn't take no for an answer.
Traincar was a hard hittin' cuss who wouldn't take no for an answer.

Sal Mckinley came out of nowhere to take the world of pro boxing by storm. In his debut fight he pasted Kinikini a good one, knockin’ him out before the first round had even passed. The crowd saw something special that night. A fighter with blood in his mind and a right hook that didn’t quit. They alsso witnessed Sam Hussein, 4 of his body doubles, and three secret service men watching each; that is a tale for another day.

Here we see one of Hussein's body doubles and 3 of the President's Men
Here we see one of Hussein's body doubles and 3 of the President's Men

By the time he fought Robinson, Traincar was a celebrity. He went from beans under the railroad tracks to diamonds and expensive steakhouses. But he was no less ferocious for it, putting down Sugar by technical knockout in the second.

It was in his fight versus Robinson that Traincar's right hook earned the nickname "blur tool".
It was in his fight versus Robinson that Traincar's right hook earned the nickname "blur tool".

Robinson never quite recovered from the loss, his smack talk becoming slow and stilted. He demanded a rematch.

Sugar rued the day he spoke into microphones.
Sugar rued the day he spoke into microphones.

But as quickly as Traincar’s star rose, it descended. On one fateful day, after calling a press conference, he said quietly “I wonder if 30 Rock is on.”

And he was gone.

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