I have a few minutes before the drugs take hold, so let’s take a look Aladdin.
First off, this is a Capcom game and they usually manage to cobble together entertainment I can stomach. I am cautiously optimistic about this!
The game seems to follow the plot of Disney’s Aladdin, which automatically makes me feel pretty badass, since I know that while I start as a scummy, filthy, disease-ridden street urchin, I will later have unimaginable wealth and bang a princess. It’s only a matter of time, just like in real life. Hi, Zara Phillips!
I have to admit, this is the first game I’ve reviewed – and I’ve reviewed TWO already – that I’ve genuinely enjoyed. The graphics are pretty, the control is actually fairly responsive, and the gameplay is…fun! Are these games supposed to be fun? After playing this for I while, I will forever regard Aladdin as a brief oasis in the DESERT OF SHIT*.
As I run down the streets of Agrabah flipping around, jumping on rug vendors’ surprisingly supportive roofs, and throwing apples at people’s crotches, I can feel a smile working its way onto my face – although that might be the previously mentioned drugs kicking in. Whatever, I’m enjoying the hell out of this game! The look of absolute horror on Abu’s face when Aladdin gets dusted is great, and causes me to run headfirst into arrows several times just so I can laugh at his little crestfallen monkey despair.
Even the password you get for completing a level is kind of cool: it’s a series of images and trying to remember a series of images makes me feel like Johnny Mnemonic. If I had a monofilament whip, you’d be in trouble, let me tell you. Assuming I didn’t cut my own hands off first, and I can totally see myself doing that. I like my hands, I don’t want to lose them! Even if I can buy one or someone will send one to me for free, I probably shouldn’t own a monofilament whip. It’s for my own good.
Back to Aladdin: if you have access to a SNES and this game, or more likely a computer and this ROM, I definitely recommend playing Aladdin, if for no other reason than to taunt Abu with the harsh reality of being a homeless monkey without a grinder and the steady supply of opium that relationship provides.
* Not to be confused with the DESSERT OF SHIT which is an entirely different beast and oh lord i hate the internet so much