3 Ninjas Kick Back

One game in and I already hate this concept. I remember now very well why I didn’t like a lot of games growing up– because a bunch of them were like this. You’re supposed to be playing the three kids from the movies (there were a bunch of these flicks in the 90s, and not one of them managed to touch the pristine glory that is Surf Ninjas), but, aside from one appallingly digitzed sound bite shouting “let’s murderlize them!” (tum-tum, you are a warrior AND a saint) there’s no other proof of their youth. Their faces look like an ugly, ugly homage to River City Ransom, with giant ANGRY EYES LIKE THIS >8(. But more insane. The best part is the schlocky 90s generi-metal “bwooww! BWWOWW!” when it loads each new level. You know that guitar rock song that you’ve never actually heard more than 8 seconds of? Where it’s not even melodic, just a guitar screaming in pain? It’s that sound, and it’s entirely worth it.

Also, the game starts with a giant boulder chasing you. Uhh… did that happen in the movie? I know it happened in <i>a</i> movie…

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That’s me playing Colt. Look at the arm strength exhibited by that swing.

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