TNN Bass Tournament of Champions

Sadly not the precursor to Guitar Hero.

Fish are boring.  The pursuit of fish is boring, and often, futile. So what brainiac thought it’d be a good idea to faithfully replicate this experience and put it in a videogame?  TNNBTC literally consists of taking your boat out onto the water, picking out a spot, watching, waiting, and catching nothing.  It is terrifyingly realistic.

OH GOD NO PLEASE

I would be curious to know the statistics surrounding fishing-related deaths each year – just how many people fall asleep, capsize, and drown when participating in this “sport”?  How many people are literally bored to death?  All I can say is THANK GOD THIS GAME ISN’T PORTABLE.  This is 16-Bit LemsipDO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY DURING OR AFTER PLAY – if you played this while driving a wheat thresher you would flat out die.

MAKE THE HURTING STOP

What kills me most is the central conceit behind the two most boring ‘games’ on the planet: golf, and fishing.  Both are so-called “gentlemen’s sports” – constructs devised by bored husbands to escape from their wives and families.  Which brings me to my (threefold) scariest question of all: what sort of terrifyingly boring family would drive a man to do this, what sort of terrifying boredom would drive a man to make a game about it, and what sort of terrifying boredom would it take to drive a man to play that game?

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One Response to TNN Bass Tournament of Champions

  1. [...] I thought I'd do the professional thing and fulfill all my prior obligations. And that means EVERYGAME [...]

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