Golf games are an abusive husband. No matter how many times I’ve been burned, I just keep crawling back, all the while deceiving myself, maybe this time will be different; maybe this time they’ve changed. Well, I’ve got a newsflash for you, sis: I bought Tiger Woods 10 for with MotionPlus last year and I’m sad but sort of happy, in a sick kind of way to report that GOLF GAMES STILL SUCK.
This may in fact have something to do with the fact that GOLF IS BORING. If golf sends you into a coma, and you still buy golf games, then maybe we can car pool it to the psych ward together, because clearly, we’re not learning.
There’s just something about the endless green that just bore, bore, BORES me. I’m reticent to even call these things ‘games’ – they’re more like ‘simulations’ in my opinion, and the only game-like elements they sport (you could be paying me for stuff like this!) are from the game they’re simulating – how about ‘game simulations’, then?
I am probably the last person you’d want reviewing a golf game. I’m a spastic at golf and I hate watching it because it’s too green. Green and boring. If I was to write a review of any given golf game in the history of games, I’d write this:
“It’s a golf game.”
End of review. And you know what? That would be enough for you to know whether you’d like it or not.
This, is a golf game. If you like golf, you will like all golf games. If you do not, don’t be an idiot – that’s never going to change.